Walk…Don’t Fly!

The wind swirled through my back yard. The sound through the tall, swaying pines echoed differently that day. I tied the back door with an impromptu rope of an extension cord to the post of the stairway hoping that would stop the wind from blowing the door open again. The air felt strangely eerie at the top of the steps as I turned to go down. The wind’s hands pitched me forward toward the cement at the bottom. Suddenly I could feel the coarse concrete’s tiny pebbles embedded in my face. There was snow and dirt in my hair. I glanced toward my arm and it oddly seemed disconnected from the rest of me. Something had gone very wrong. This pain was all encompassing and I knew i needed help. I needed to move that arm, i picked up a finger and my arm plopped to the ground, i yelled for help. I felt so vulnerable. I hated that feeling. My daughter’s stricken face when she found me told the story that we needed help to get me up.
The paramedic’s caring, calm demeanor relaxed me some. A couple of well placed injections may have also helped. How do victims of accidents with multiple severe injuries handle their pain? It wrapped around me and all else seemed to fade to a different level. As i needed further care i couldn’t receive locally and due to the weather situation, surgery would have to wait.

I turned myself over to my sister’s care. Sister love can be a very strong medicine. I am blessed that my sister Sandy has a career is nursing. I like to think I am one of her special patients. As before, she brought me through another of the many traumas of my life. She tucked me into bed, checked on me through the long nights, changed dressings, and took care of every need I had. As her gentle hands wiped my forehead, it brought tears to my eyes and thoughts of my mother. It never fails at times like this that we crave a mother’s touch to heal everything with a kiss to make all the hurt go away.

It was very hard to be dependent on others for so much of my care. But it was wonderful to know so many others were there for me. My little daycare children worried about the obvious bruises and cuts even though I tried to reassure them I would be just fine. One of the children, Flynn, placed his small, gentle fingers on my scar. Looking up at me, he asked, “You getting all better, Jeanne?” I could feel his unconditional love healing me. Thankfully I had help so I could still spend my days with my little charges. I know it helped my healing.

Although none of us want to feel vulnerable or depend too much on others, it is good to know joy can be found during the most needy of times. It is good to realize that even the smallest gesture of kindness is appreciated. It is a good lesson to learn. We can be there for each other in so many ways both large and small. During the busy months ahead stay safe. Especially on stairs. Walk down them. Do not try to fly!

Originally published in Bottom Line News & Views, June 2018

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