Since the movie Frozen hit the big screen, children have grasped every word of the song “Let it Go”. It seems the song must be sung as loud as their little lungs will allow! Watching the sweet voices raised in joy, letting go seemingly with all the feelings in their tiny hearts. One cannot help but wonder if we as adults could just do that with some of the things we also grasp tightly to, things we know we shouldn’t hold onto to…fears, grudges, and ill feelings. Even as children we learn how to do this. A common phrase in grade school is, and always will be, “I’m not your friend. I won’t play with you ever again!” We learned this lesson well.
Children are often the victims of these ill feelings. Some listened as parents brought up the same arguments over again. Arguments that often tore families asunder. No one would, or could let things go. Children became part of a not so fun game of “child tug of war”. Family events become uncomfortable, and hurt, angry feelings continued to grow. Family and friends, but mostly the children feel they must pick sides and often blame themselves. Things are never the same.
No situation is identical to others. Some hurts can never be forgotten. But maybe some can be forgiven. Those hard feelings that we can let go of may leave us open to the possibility of new mature relationships. Although things can never be the same as they once were, they can be free of less bitterness and spite. New memories can replace bad ones. Old memories may be re-examined in a new light, and they may even bring joy again. Traditions take different avenues, but can still become special, times of great enjoyment. Families can be redefined.
Forgiving friends and family of what we feel are wrong doings doesn’t mean we have forgotten what caused the rift. It doesn’t mean you will be friends again. Some people may need professional help to attain this. Some may seek the help of a trustworthy friend. Public get-togethers, family celebrations, and work environments can be much more comfortable for all directly involved….and for those that aren’t. There will no longer be sentences stopped when someone enters the room, or long, uncomfortable feelings of awkward silence. As we age and mature we find that some things have less importance than they did before and we can therefore move on. We no longer have to be the “winner”.
Holding anger and resentment inside of us has been proven to cause damage to our health. Forgiving and moving forward in our lives leaves us feeling more light hearted, healthier, and free to let it all go. When we consciously decide that we want to live our lives free of those burdens, we regain our memories of past good times, and good feelings. Those moments in time meant something special to us, and should remain a part of us. It is an uplifting feeling. It is not attained easily, it takes hard, painful work, and may need reinforcing more than occasionally. But we may be much happier, and those we care about may be happier too. Let it Go! Let it Go! Let it Go!
Published in Bottom Line News & Views